Balancing career and family as a woman

“Nice to have you back again! But who is taking care of your child now?”

Balancing career and family: a currently widely discussed topic, especially for women, particularly in career-focused and often time-intensive professions like mine: consulting. A topic where, in recent months, I have experienced very concretely how large the gap between expectations and lived reality can still be.

In Germany, around two thirds of mothers still take parental leave for more than a year, while fathers on average only take a few months, often the classic two “partner months.” Even in the subsequent distribution of care work, the majority still remains with women. This is despite the fact that, in many modern partnerships, both partners are employed and often have similar qualifications and income prospects.

When I started my career in my mid-20s, a senior colleague told me during my first lunch with them:

“You are now starting your career in consulting. You should already think carefully about whether and when you want to start a family and how long you want to take off. In our industry, things change so quickly that you can be out of the loop faster than you think!”

Fast forward five years: I am still working in consulting, I love my job and I am expecting my first child. Since then, I have learned from female colleagues that balancing a career and family life is possible with the right support from partners and companies. This is particularly relevant in my case, as my husband also works here. For us as a family, it was clear that we both wanted to make equal use of parental leave.

It was interesting for us to see that even in our environment, among families with similar conditions, it is still rather the exception that couples, like my husband and I, share parental leave and therefore care work equally. And this even when both have similar professional backgrounds in comparably demanding and well-paid jobs.

In this context, it became clear to me that balancing a career and family life is no longer just a question of financial circumstances for women. Above all, it is a question of role models, expectations and, very concretely, decision-making. In order to achieve this balance, it is crucial to consider the practical conditions required so that mothers do not have to choose between their career and family.

Miebach supports me, and us as a family, exceptionally strongly in this phase. From initial parental leave planning to returning to work, flexibility, trust and openness were not just words on paper, but lived practice. Both my husband and I were able to structure our parental leave in a way that suited us as a family. I was a full-time parent for the first six months, after which he took over. Nevertheless, this is still often viewed as unusual from the outside, with people questioning why my husband is 'taking over' for such a long time. But that misses the point. He did not take anything over, but made a conscious decision to do so. He wanted this time, and he thanked me for allowing him to experience it with our daughter. For him, it was a gift, not an obligation.

What was a logical and equal decision for us was only made possible in this form by our work environment. Flexible working hours, understanding of individual life situations, and, above all, a culture that supports such decisions rather than questioning them, gave us the space to experience parenthood and a career as complementary rather than opposing forces.

For me, balancing career and family therefore means more than flexible working models and organizational support.

Balancing also means:

How we speak to each other.

What questions we ask.

It also means the standards we apply, whether consciously or unconsciously.

True equality does not arise from structures alone, but only when they are used and embraced. This applies to companies as well as relationships.

I am fortunate to experience both: at Miebach, a work environment that supports me, and a partnership based on real equality and respect for each other’s wishes.

My wish is that exactly this becomes the norm:

That a committed father is no longer the exception.

And that a working mother is no longer the one who has to additionally prove herself.

Because in the end, balance is not only shown in concepts or company policies, but in everyday life, in how we interact with each other and in the way we talk about this topic.